More notes on Culture Homogeny

Was just watching some of Dodgers versus Angels on ESPN and apparently there was a fan on the field. I don't think it was a streaker, but HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW, BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO AIR ANY FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE RUNNING ON FIELD?!?!? How fucking dumb is that? So, we can just pretend that the world and life is clean and wholesome and blemish-free by simply not acknowledging anything other than the family-friendly, wholesome, whitebread bullshit??? Fuck that.

Bullpens Shit the Bed, too!

Back in April, I bitched and moaned about Jason Motte, a closer for the St. Louis Cardinals on my fantasy at the time. Motte's tenure lasted about 72 hours on Team Mondesi as he proved competent only at giving Tony La Russa small heart attacks and me a temporary case of Tourettes that my neighbors quickly grew tired of. Closers with this level of confidence seem to be hopping on and off the fuckin bullpen merry-go-round this season. While I don't have Fernando Rodney (pictured) on my team, witnessing him empty his own brand of adult diaper on the pitching mound against the Cardinals tonight was equally frustrating and astonishing. Rodney had 3 wild pitches and about a half dozen others that only missed that distinction because his catcher, Gerald Laird, was adept enough to catch such shitty pitches. It started to make me miss the days of the shut-down, no-questions-asked closers (or pitchers, in general, for that matter). Sure, Heath Bell is the shit this season and Jonathan "Crazy Eyes" Papelbon is consistent, but it seems like bullpens just lack a little balls this season. Well, as John always says, maybe there will be a little "regression to the mean".

Jayson Stark just earned a Mark

On his forehead and for that matter, all ESPN Baseball columinsts. I'm fuckin sick of your double standards, heavily guarded racism and self-righteousness. I'm so fucking tired of it all that I can only barely skim the surface. You have spent the last month and a half pushing Manny Ramirez through a series of rock crushers, meat grinders and other undesirable positions for his positive test and suspension. The unorthodox Manny has never been one to capture unfettered admiration in your eyes, sure, but he's no demon. However, to a bunch of cracker-ass, uber-privileged honkey journalists, he must be just black enough, just free-spirited enough to have pissed you off to your core. I'm not here to debate the right or wrong of Manny's drug policy transgressions. I'm here to point out your selective hypocricy, which rears its ugly head in today's article about Raul Ibanez. Did Manny test positive? Yes. Is the baseball culture now tainted in the view of fans so much so that Raul's devouring of opposing pitching is met with some level of skepticism regarding the PED era? Yes, it most certainly is and that is just tough fucking shit. Raul's a grown man. He can deal with this and if he can't, then he shouldn't be a fucking baseball player, earning $10+ million a year to play a game and be in the public eye.
Honestly, I'm happy for Raul, who I watched for years here in Seattle, but also make no relevant speculations about him and PEDs at all. Is there a possibility? Absolutely. Do I care? Not really. We all got what we wanted out of the steroid era: Baseball made a roaring comeback, players earn salaries unheard of just 10 years before and fans got to see some pretty incredible shit happen. So, I ask you, ESPN writers, what is it that makes it so easy for you to treat Manny Ramirez like a Salem witch and then turn around and actually say that Ibanez, "Doesn't deserve a scarlet 'S'"? I have some ideas.....................you fuckwads.

Thoughts On Culture Homogeny

I often rail against the effects of the PC (Politically Correct) Age and the current Post-PC Era. My overall arc is usually to illuminate (or overstate the obvious) an example of how the cleansing of our public persona has made us weak, intellectually stunted and, most importantly, boring. So, my first foray into pounding your heads against the brick wall fabricated of my opinions will be couched in crowd behavior. When you watch highlights of a World Series or NBA Championship victory from the previous generation, you always see fans rushing the field/court to join in the celebration. That exemplifies how much a team has been part of the community, more than just a mere vehicle of entertainment. Now, in the last 15-20 years, I've NEVER seen this behavior repeated as it once was, acceptable and normal. Of course, this happens in college sports, but it's different, because while kids on an NCAA Championship team may be icons within their sub-cultures, they are not mega-rock star millionaire athletes. That class division is so blatant it kills me sometimes, but this is also about the simple dumbing down and brainwashing of our society. We must live in fear of our own (and collective) instincts to celebrate, in this instance, as if the victory were partly our doing. And it really is. We have paid the ticket price, followed the team for what seems to be eternity and cheered with as much intensity and involvement as the "participants" put into their performance. I say that, instead of trashing downtown in your city after a championship, fans should make a collective, yet unwritten pact to rush the field during the on-field/on-court celebration. Whaddya say Amerikkka, land of the free???

A Long Time Comin'

So, I told my buddy Scott a bit ago (maybe six months now?) that I'd do this, but never got around to it. I'll be succinct, but I'm here to endorse Trifonic. Their album Emergence is quite fantastic and I've been digging it for quite some time now. "Parks On Fire" is certainly the standout track, with a combination of DJ Shadow (Endtroducing era) drum programming and some Amon Tobin mechanical bugs feel to it. The guitar playing might actually be the hidden gem here as I can hear The Edge (U2) mixed with some other New Wave and Psychedelic shit going on. Very tight styles emerging, pun intended, into a new, lovely sound that has a foot in the past and a head in the future. Scott also has done some video work for them, which you can check out here. Please give them a listen, as they are certainly talented, yet far too under the radar for their given potential impact.

Jumped out the Jelly and into the Summer Jams

It's Summer, the sun is golden and sweet, hitting you at angles that make you feel at ease. You're out riding bikes, walking around or twiddling the sand out of your toes at the beach with a joint in hand. Radio Raheem is with you, with his bangin' boombox. What 70s Funk jams would you turn on?
1. WAR?
2. Parliament-Funkadelic?
3. Sly & the Family Stone?

Just Another Lame Excuse

Obviously, I loved Johnny Damon as much as any other Sox fan. Up until the '05 jumping of ship, of course. So, this last week when the Yankees visited Fenway Park to square off against the Sox for a three game set they were destined to lose, Damon dropped a pop-up in left. Now, any mature, straight-forward baseball player would just cop to the fact that it happens to everyone. Damon, on the other hand, made constant gestures of looking back up into the sky after the botched play. This included an obvious awareness of the game being on National TV, so as to make gestured excuses to begin with by darting his eyes skyward repeatedly after looking like a dildo on National TV. And then this headline appears today. What a pussy. Just let it go. I don't give a fuck if you have a muscular stigmatism that makes your eyes dance around constantly like a psych-ward wack job. Just cop to making a mistake and move on.
I believe Damon's douchebag rating just jumped a little in the standings.

Salmon Runs

This evening, after mowing the lawn at my mom's house, I actually watched the news. This is a shock in itself for many who know me, because I rarely do. Reasons abound for why I am so awfully pathetic when it comes to the news, but being dragged into tachycardic depression by the state of the world is highest on the list. So, anyways, they were doing a story on the pitiful Sockeye Salmon runs going through the Seattle ship canal (Ballard Locks, way to win one for technology and 'progress' over the environment and indigenous lifestyles...another issue altogether I suppose). The goal for a successful run this year, and to be able to have Lake Washington fishing, is upwards of 300,000 Sockeye come through. The tragic possibility is that we are looking at a run of 18,000 to 19,000. My mind begins to tumble and crash down the stairs at the multi-faceted environmental complications this drastic drop-off implies. Just a taste: warmer water temperatures, effects of Fall/Winter/early Spring floods on egg clusters and their survival, the suppression of other species proliferation due to a loss of food resources and on and on and on.
I have to tell ya, with these kind of signs staring me (us, hopefully?) in the face and the far-too-slow-if-any progress and change in our human lifestyle and impact upon the rest of the planet, I doubt that we can pull out of the tailspin we're in. In my somewhat educated estimation, we have a generation and a half left before we join the relics of the past at Jurassic Park.

Sox vs Yanks

Tonight's game is on ESPN, as they need to feed the ratings monster with "The Greatest Rivalry in American Sports". Wake is iffy at best so far, but anytime you can watch Derek Jeter take a completely ugly hack at a 65 mph knuckler is a good time. Unfortunately, I'm forced to listen to Rick Sutcliffe attempt the English language we use outside of whitey's Georgia plantations. It's seriously like taking a power drill and voluntarily thrusting it in your ear and then standing next to an overdriven, blown out guitar amplifier feedback for 3 hours.
As bad as Chien-Ming Wang is pitching (58 pitches to close out just 2 innings) tonight, we should be up by a dozen or so.

Oh, and by the way, when I say "Kotsay," you say "Fuck Yeah!!"