Movie night on the couch

Semi-Pro was freakin awesome and hilarious, but I'm in the middle of Juno and I don't get what everybody was so stoked about. In fact, there is one aspect of the film that outright sucks: the way that Juno talks is fuckin ridiculous. For one, her slang is all sorts of off-register...she doesn't sound like a 17 year-old white girl to me (at least, it's not believable in my movie viewing opinion). Plus, she talks in that overly analytical manner that I've never heard a high schooler drop into; usually people don't talk like that until they take a couple of Philosophy classes in college. Ellen Paige's affect is just not fitting for the part from where I sit. But, I am still watching because I'm stubborn...

...and I can't suspend disbelief with Juno's whole I'm in love with you speech to Michael Cera's Bleeker. It just doesn't resonate as a real, tangible 16 year-old girl re-approaching a guy who she'd broken the heart of earlier. Maybe that perspective is biased by my own experience, but piss off if you don't like my opinion.

By the way, The Diving Bell & The Butterfly was amazing. I think Julian Schnabel might be one of my favorite directors, because Before Night Falls was equally incredible.

Smooth Sailing Homey

That handsome gentleman in the Oakland As hat is my good buddy (best friend) John Baker. Today, I dropped him off at the airport as he's headed to Prague (yes, that Prague) to teach English ("repeat after me class: you are an asshat") and drink Budjoviky (Czechvar). When any of you are in Prague over the next year, maybe two, stop in on him and say hi. As for me, I'll be visiting him soon, but for now, I say bye homey and will miss him, dearly.

Congratulations Jesus Shuttlesworth!!!

I would just like to extend a huge congratulations to Jesus Shuttlesworth, er, Ray Muthafuckin Allen!!!!! It was lovely seeing you play a possessed, opponent-ravaging NBA Finals to get your first ring, something I would've preferred to see you do in a Seattle Supersonics jersey. But hey, I love you no less and why the hell wouldn't you jet on a team going down the drain to the sewer???? Oh, and by the way, it was extra special to see you squash the Rapist, none other than Black Mamba (Uma Thurman should slice him one for that), the smuggest man alive Kobe Asshat Bryant. I do believe you kicked his ass!

A Love Affair Sans Disappointment

At least I have the Sox to keep me happy! Yes, I live in Seattle and, yes, I also root for the Mariners, but they suck and have a much shorter history and less rich tradition. Okay, they have a pretty good tradition of sucking the last few years, but anyways, I'm here to celebrate the Sox, not bitch about the Ms. In his last 6 games, J.D. Drew is slugging a mind-boggling 1.158 and that puts his OPS at a Pedrunkulous (Pedroia + ridiculous=Pedrunkulous...it's a long story) 1.773!!! I guess hitting in front of an also red hot Manny Ramirez (15 game hit streak, .386 average with 7 homers and 20 rbi!!) does a body good. This team is amazing. They have a sub-par Josh Beckett going every 5th day, Clay Buchholz on the DL kept company by Daisuke Matsuzaka and David Ortiz, but they continue to find ways to win. A little tip of the cap to manager Terry Francona is in order, because he has tinkered with the lineup and used the back-up players he's dealt in royal style. Doesn't hurt to Bartolo Colon step in for $5 a start and tear opposing batters a new one. Through it all, they have the second best record in the AL and thrid best overall, are leading the gruesome AL East (with the Yankees 7 games back in the basement!) and have shown that they can kick some ass (re: Fight Night @ Fenway versus the Tampa Bay Rays)!! Here's to a bright looking season! Thanks for helping keep me sane boys.

The Break-Up & the Brokenhearted Once Weres

You know that shattering feeling when a lover comes to you, because we need to talk and shoves a knife into your heart, but through your throat and around your lungs? That is the collective shredding of a fanbase's hearts in Seattle. But, with the cursory attempts at making them stay through lawsuits, we are dragging out the end; calling her 12 times in the middle of the night pleading for her to come back or why don't you love me anymore questions barely intelligible through the tears and hyperventilated sobbing. JUST FUCKING GO ALREADY!!! I can't stand the thought of you hanging around for this bullshit court crap, when we all (admit it or not) know you're going to Oklahoma City. Just fuck off and leave, but remember to leave the team name behind so that we might be able to ressurect it all once we've gotten past the late night binge drinking to forget you. Clay Bennett, I swear to the gods that if I ever meet you in person, I will remove your testicles Fight Club style for what you've done here (Howard Schulz, don't think you're much more in the safe zone yourself). My first sports memories, shit, some of my first memories at all, are of going to Supes games in the Kingdome when I was 4 years old. Do you wanna venture a guess as to what year that was?!!!?!?!!?!!?! 1979 motherfucker!! The only time we've had a championship in this city...and yer gonna drag that team away like an abduction victim in the middle of the night, only during the day and right in front of us. I fucking hate you. And I mean that. The brazen balls on you to talk of how (paraphrasing alert!) leases aren't specifically enforceable???!!? What the fuck are you smokin dickweed?! I don't get my deposit back if I brake a lease with a landlord, why should you get to name your price for bouncing on your lease, asshole?! And, by the way, you lost money last year because the team SUCKED ASS AT A SHIT INFESTED REST STOP!!! You'd lose money anywhere with a team that crappy! Though, I suppose when you rape a city's loyalty to its oldest sports franchise, people won't wanna show up to games, but I doubt that's the majority of your problems. Well, good luck in HELL mother fucker, er, I mean Oklahoma City!

fear of lovelessness pt II

06.08.08
{Johan Johansson}

staring at the sky
as if waiting for it to
vanish me in its vast expanse

thinking:
that the sun could
shred those clouds
from their binding axis
and
they’d leave me forever

yet,
these reassuring waves of sound
surge love through my body
cello upon cello upon viola
of love
pushing out, from
the inner walls of my heart

invisible tears roll
for hope and despair
simultaneously

seeping Gorecki’s 3rd
like a wounded soldier’s blood
or
the fear of lovelessness.

distal...not distant

{Satie|Kennif}
06.07.08

I met a man
who seemingly spoke
through the aged
decrepit
dead fingers of
Eric Satie

yet, certainly spoke
of his own accord
and voice

the ghost
harmlessly alive
within…

distal phalanges
hammering away at
a piano
tickling the prisoner
until it confessed

coughing dust off strings
secrets:

unveiling, how
what appears as
carbon copy
is really two
originals, locked in
immortal connection

to the ghost
harmlessly alive
within…