Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Anyone Else Think Anderson Cooper Looks Like A Douche?

Man, I don't care if Anderson Cooper brings the news in the most concise, thoughtful, efficient manner. I don't care if he breaks a story about Dick Cheney's up-to-now secret child pornography ring involving Shetland Ponies. This guy looks like a douche; a reformed frat-fuck date-rapist, who took a communications class and a public speaking class, discovered 12 year old Scotch and Cuban cigars and thusly developed a taste for a life beyond his means. He looks self-important and as if he just recently found Touch of Grey and overdid it.
This, of course, is all misanthropic speculation. Cooper could possibly be a nice guy, but what the fuck do I care?


Anonymous said...

Actually your speculation couldn't be more wrong.

Cooper didn't have to discover the finer things; he's part of a rich and famously scandal and tragedy ridden family. He is the son of famous, old money Gloria Vanderbilt. He's gay, so I doubt he was date raping at Yale. He spent years after college freelance reporting in combat zones, initially leaving the US in response to his brother's suicide. He has been slowly greying on camera since his early 20s. He's also reportedly a very nice guy.

The expression in that picture is pretty self-satisfied, though. I'll give you that.

Rev. Gabelicious said...

whoever "anonymous" is, I hope you're a close friend of mine so I can lick yer bung hole for that thoughtful, fully wiki-researched and Cooper-suck-upping reply.
Ummmmm, how does being gay automatically take you out of the pool of people who could date rape another person? Think twice about that one.
And I certainly hope he is a "nice guy" (though, nice guy pussies don't win in this dog-eat-dog world of back-stabbing pigs), because if my "assumptions" were true, it wouldn't be funny.

shamelessly plugging said...

You may not care, and you have a right to your misanthropic speculations, but gay or not, the man makes me swoon every time I watch him! Speaking of my stalking tendancies, check out this site thats started up a petition just for him:
If it means I see more of Anderson, I'm all for it

Rev. Gabelicious said...

So, "Shamelessly Plugging", do you just wake up every morning and Google 'Anderson Cooper' and then leave comments on like 1500 blogs in a manner too pussy to leave your real fuckin name so I know who to badger for the next 30 days, 23 hours and 53 minutes until baseball season starts! You people are almost as annoying as genital warts.

Ben said...

Hey Gabe! I'm a bit of a dilettante when it comes to keeping up with people's blogs, but having not seen you since New Year's I checked in on ya, only to see you ripping on my man Andy! Love you like a brother, but shit, man...you couldn't find a puppy to kick? Miss ya, kitten.

Rev. Gabelicious said...

Ya know, Ben, I couldn't find a puppy to kick and trust me, I'd kick a puppy before seriously picking on Anderson Cooper. This was a joke gone wrong and nobody seems to have understood that better than me. Miss you too Tiger!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I stumbled across this site by accident while looking for information about Anderson Cooper.

But since I did and since I lost a minute of my life reading this post, I have to say that, dude, you are fucking sad. Seriously, get over yourself. You're not funny or witty or clever. Lose some weight and get a real job, already.